Preparation for foreign and domestic adoption
Traditional adoption preparation and training has focused almost exclusively on attachment without tying it to developmental stages and without teaching about individual differences specific to the child. The teaching of attachment becomes pointless without out a child-specific contextual basis. Generic attachment training does not teach the parents about understanding the heart of their specific child and who they were created to be. Heartworks reopens the “floor of opportunity” the same way it is opened for a child who has had a traditional birth history. Where the child came from is less important than where they are going, helping parents with developing a vision for their child. “Without a vision, people perish”
The vision for the adopted child was birthed by DanaKae’s work in Tijuana orphanages when she was a teenager. There she found 110 infants being cared for by 3 nuns who prayed for volunteers to come and help. DanaKae’s group would create a play circle on the floor and they would play and sing with the babies. The nuns reported that that was when the babies began to progress, they prayed for the “hands and feet” to do what they could not.
“We all have trauma/drama in our past but what I saw in those babies was maximum potential. The care those nuns provided created a feeling of gratefulness in the children.” The children who had to have their heads shaved due to lice told DanaKae that it was okay because, “then those bugs wont live on my head, and my head wont be itchy”
“As a foster parent I knew that if I could build that foundation for the baby by giving them: love, nurturing, stimulation, that their cry was answered without anger or frustration, that every sound they made was answered with a word, a swing, a papoose, I even tied a rope from the cradle to my foot so that I could rock a baby when I needed to lie down. I believed that if I could do all this that I would set them on a course for their life. I gave them safety and security.”
“It makes no difference how children come to us, it makes all of the difference how we come to them. Your approval, your vision, your open heart, these matter!”
Parenting tips specific to the individual child