March 27, 2011 – Sunday afternoon greetings!!! My apologies for the delayed Blog, as there has been work on the website that caused some interruption in the saving of writings!!! So, today I come to you to chat about a topic that most of us as adults do not consider that important in the scheme of our parenting lives…BUT I would like to challenge your heart to a new thought, and possible family principle that could deepen and heal the relationships!! So, grab a cup of coffee, tea, or soda and let’s chat!! I truly believe with all my heart that when we refresh others…we too will become refreshed…the principle of others first, or caring for the heart of another!! We can find this principle thriving in our families when we evaluate or re-evaluate our “conversational tone.” “Oh no”, you might be saying right now…”I must not only check my words as a parent…now I must check my “tone?” YES…indeed…or MOST definitely!! You see, there is POWER in healing and positive conversation tone!! This is not to say that we throw out our voice modulation for discipline, and it certainly does not mean that grace is not available for the occasional “bad” parenting moment…BUT it does mean that we must redefine our tone so that what we say matches what we do, and our expectations for our cherubs. Children were created to sense, feel, internalize, and imitate our tones as they learn to be a part of our family. Conversational tone can be a beacon to the child that struggles with engagement, chattering, gesturing, or whole body language!! It can be a cheering squad that pushes our cherubs forward to BELIEVE in themselves as they work to develop and BE who they were designed to BECOME!! Unfortunately, it can also be a flashlight without batteries in a deep, dark cave, or a GIANT pin that is thrust forward into their balloon of hope. As parents we do not set out on this journey and decide to have a tone that impacts our cherubs for the negative….but if we are an honest reflector, it happens all too often in the midst of family struggles and developmental challenges. Think about it…does your child KNOW that you and his/her siblings go to appointments for doctoring, or tutoring of some sort??? Do we bring them along to “see” what we are working on in our own life journey?? Do our cherubs feel singled out, that they are the ones of greatest need?? Even if there is truth to that statement there are positive and healing ways to reset your family tone. Try making a book of each member’s strengths and weaknesses…placing pictures of accomplishments and pictures of stages of working toward next goals!! Visuals can make the strongest impact on our cherub’s understanding and belief that as a family we are always working together!! You can make a “Life in Progress Poster”, which displays each member working on a new skill set or personal goal, and next to it can be a poster called…”celebration Station”, where pictures are displayed of the latest accomplishment!! Our cherubs cannot always perceive that we as parents have life long skills or goals that we are always working to attain, but when we set the conversational tone to the “relating” channel, everyone in the family benefits!! It is a new day…remember we are all in this boat together…KEEP ROWING…I send you a refreshing tone of love, grace, truth, and a little voice modulated…”Come on set the tone and SEE if your CHERUBS SAIL!!!!”–DK