March 25, 2012~ Greeting to ALL of my parenting partners!!! As I have been away from writing for a few weeks, I’ve been spending more time working with parents in an evening workshop, and small groups!! We have had a wonderful 4 weeks, learning, discovering, reflecting, and growing together!!! I’ve also been the proud MOM of a “Sultana,” who recently finished her performance in Aladdin as Jasmine’s Mom!!! WOW…do I have some “heart work” to share about living INTENTIONALLY!!! Do you ever find yourself wondering how much of your parenting is intentional?? Are you a parent that thinks deeply about every interaction with your child, or are you finding yourself more of a “maintenance” parent? My heart is here to share a few nuggets about “Intentional” parenting!! When we look at the actual definition of “intentional” we are looking at purposeful, and deliberate actions, and interactions, but not simply to “survive”, but instead laser-focused on THRIVING and FLOURISHING little hearts!!! When we are working on “intentionality” in children, we are hoping for clearer meaning in all their language and actions!! We can often become frustrated when we do not understand their communication, or behavior…but what about OURS??? Are our children able to discern our INTENT?? Do they KNOW how much we LOVE them, by the way we interact, speak, and discipline?? Do they understand the intent of our expectations, or are we living, and moving as MAINTENANCE parents…to make it, get by, or simply survive?? I think many of us would answer; a combination of the above mentioned!!! It is not always our FIRST nature to focus on our pure intent, always holding a vision for our cherubs, and expecting them to RISE to every developmental occasion we set for them. WHY??? Because we are inconsistent with our INTENTION!!! We send mixed messages, and all of a sudden we become disappointed in their progress, or their lack of initiation toward greater success…hmmm? Something sounds all too familiar here…YES…you got it…it is not all about THEM…it is about US being their HEART drivers…maintaining rich emotional connections so that they can overcome, and become victorious in each of their struggles!! When we find ourselves answering in a minimal fashion, or trying to PULL more and more information or details out of our children…we need to STOP…and ask ourselves, “What is my INTENT?” “What is it, that I desire from my cherub in the MOMENT?” We must look INTENTLY…because when we do we will find many answers to our questions! When a child cannot perceive YOUR interest as a parent, he/she will decrease intentional interactions quickly which will look like an act of avoidance, distancing, or wanting to please you enough to get away from you…OUCH!!! That just stung my own heart…how about yours? CHILDREN want our ATTENTION…and they want it with MAXIMUM focus, and INTENT to interact and sustain a relationship!! There you have it…YES…THEY ARE HERE TO RELATE…they crave RELATIONSHIP…they LONG for your intentional touch, words, actions, and LOVE!!! I am READY to relate to my cherub, turning up the volume, and increasing my affective, intentional interactions!!! SHE is WORTH IT!!! Join with me on this new mission of FULLY INTENTIONAL LIVING!!! WE ARE PARENTS…PROUD PARENTS of INTENTIONAL INTERACTIONS with our CHILDREN!!! Sending a heart filled with INTENT for your positive parenting growth!! ~ DK