January 31, 2013~ Hello Parenting Partners!!! I hope all of you are closing out the FIRST month of 2013 on a GREAT NOTE!!! It is hard to believe that we will OPEN February 2013 tomorrow!!! As you can already perceive…I am finding time passing tooooo fast, so my heart is moved today to write about Mommy moments, and how our mirrors might be affecting these precious moments!!! Just in case you are a Daddy, or other influential adult in a cherub’s life…I hope you will find yourself a place to grow within this writing today! We all are VERY familiar with “mirrors,” and the common uses of them…but today I want to address a MUCH more important MIRROR, and how a deeper reflection and understanding can transform your life! Let’s get our WINDEX out…and take a LOOK!!!

As primary, pivotal adults in a child’s life…we have an opportunity to always check in on our modeling, and fruit production in our cherubs. Our children have arrived here to TEACH us more than we could ever imagine…and today is a BIG lesson, that once learned…will become a tool of healing, mentoring, and ultimate freedom to BE the BEST parent possible!! As we all know, mirrors provide information of outward appearances…well guess what….so do our CHILDREN…they are the BEST way to tell HOW we are doing in a parenting role!!! They are pure sources of life that give out, and give back what has been modeled for them!! As we watch our children develop, we can often find ourselves showing up to PLAY with words, or strange objects, or interacting in a socially inappropriate way that we could NEVER imagine ourselves doing. You see, our children have learned from US…GREAT character traits…and well…some undesirable traits too! Are you identifying yet??? If you are willing to look more closely you can SEE how children get caught in behavioral patterns that can gain negative attention, because WE DO NOT LIKE WHAT WE SEE….In truth…we, or other primary adults have modeled some behaviors that do not match the child’s development, or have not taken their imitative skills into consideration, or we truly never thought they would pick it up from us! Check out the word “or!” You see…sometimes as Mommies we struggle in these “mirror moments,” because to think about the implications of our own behavior meaning “more work!” I want to suggest HEART WORK instead of MORE WORK!!...When we as adults, engage our hearts to TRANSFORM our behaviors in order to influence GREATNESS in our children…we gain a fresh, perspective or image of NEW POSSIBILITIES!!!

So, how do we cause the heart work to transform or reconfigure our cherubs??? First and foremost, when you see the mirror being held up for your view within your child’s behavior….take this precious “Mommy Moment,” and choose to reflect and learn…not to REACT... We must be willing to take inventory of our current actions and interactions, in order to transform our views of our children! YOU will need to remind yourself that this is a PROCESS…not an immediate “fix.” As Mommies, we prefer “quicker fixes,” but in order to make our Mommy Moments COUNT for life…we will need to adjust our attitude toward the process of the smudged, cracked, or completely fogged mirror! Recently, I have had the privilege of being the earthly Mom in the mirror…and I must admit…at first I was alarmed, until I realized that I had a choice to transform, and influence change in the amazing daughter I was given! WOW…talk about POWER in PARENTING...I am watching not only myself, but several other folks in my life take the challenge of the “Mommy in the Mirror,” and make new choices for others’ HIGHER good! YOU see, if we are honest within this process, we will find that our children NEVER meant to be___or be___or be___…We will discover a process of learning where Mommy and child can connect on a deeper level of understanding each other, which will result in that intimate relationship that we all desire to create. Once you start practicing, you will be able to call your child’s mirror to his/her attention, and ask if those behaviors are “authentically” theirs??? DO you perceive the transformation??? We move away from critical or judgmental parenting, into parenting with a HIGHER purpose…facilitating a genuine interest in the child’s ability to be her/himself!!!

For those of you who did “mirror play” with your cherub as an infant or toddler…I encourage you to re-engage in the joy and discovery of NEW behaviors emerging, as they realize that you are in this behavioral game too!!! Remember: All Behavior has a COMMUNICATION! OH!!!! The JOY of PARENTING…..I am so grateful to walk by your side!!! HAVE FUN…and BE SILLY while you transform together! ~ DK