March 13, 2011 – It is time to focus on forward thinking, forward faith, forward loving, and parenting with NO REGRETS!!!! It is time to PUT all of our parenting failures behind us, end that part of our stories, and make sure we ourselves are OFF of the cover of our children”s story. Our children need to activate their story as they grow and develop on a daily basis. How can they activate when we hold onto the negativity of “not doing enough, or not trying this or that therapy, or not being able to CURE our cherub”s issues in their young lives??” Our children need the opportunity to live under parent”s wings that are free and clear of OLD ways, OLD pain, OLD beliefs that we or our cherubs will not achieve what they have come to BE or what we have believed for them. One of my suggestions is to begin to break down your parenting issues into manageable pieces in order to create change and progress for your children. I challenge you to LOOK FORWARD to behavioral issues, as they have deep communications that cause us to ANSWER the higher calling as a parent. Look forward to attitude adjustments in yourself as a parent as well as in your children even when we are doing something that seems as simple as ensuring that your cherub”s hands are free for gesturing and working/playing!! Some of your children find devices, or ways to disengage from the world, and as a parent we need to look deeply at this, and forward roll with our plan to ENGAGE and ENHANCE our communicative exchanges as well as being affectivley demonstrative with our gestures, bodies, and words. Whether or not your cherub has a special need or is in a typical development pattern, ALL children have the capacity of finding ways to hide, disengage, or move away from living an authentic life. If we catch it now…we will teach them to live with no regrets as well as ourselves. The other day I was reflecting on a group of young men with developmental delays that I worked with years ago….I remember one of them asking me, “Why don”t I have a belt for my pants?” At the time I thought it was a simple question, until I discovered that he did not have any “typical” pants with belt loops….he only had sweat pants. I recall his deep sadness around this fact, and as I probed he finally said…”DK, I just want to have a shiny thing on my pants!” It was in that moment that something changed for me….it was the realization that we do not MOVE forward when our cherubs have needs…we do not believe or trust that they can handle snaps, buttons, belts and such….What a sad REGRET…..one way this young man could have felt more a part of his peer group, or part of being grown up….So, if our parenting is currently challenged with behaviors…FACE FORWARD…listen deeply, adjust, reclaim your child”s life, BE strong and courageous…If you are faced with dysregulating your child by standing firm on something that is for their ULTIMATE good, such as limited TV, phone use, computer time, etc…REMIND yourself “NO REGRETS!” Children”s irritation only lasts for a SHORT time relative to the misery of life patterns we can set when we do not LIVE FORWARD!!! Whatever you may be facing today….the HOPE is REAL…YOU can parent REGRET FREE….KNOWING that you are working, guiding, teaching for your cherub”s HIGHEST GOOD!! DO not be afraid….you no longer have to think about your old story…in fact…let your NEW parenting with no regrets HEAL your own hurts….DO the right thing…Your child”s final chapter will INCLUDE…My Mom and Dad fought for ME, BELIEVED in ME, ACCEPTED the BEST for ME…helped me strive to BE all I was created to BE, and said NO to things that were not good for me and STOOD their ground…. THANKS MOM and DAD….Love from your cherub…..and LOVE from me to YOU!!!–DK